Why going to classes when your baby hasn't arrived yet will keep you happy in the long run!
When I was at work it felt like my maternity leave was hurtling towards me and I wanted to make sure everything was sorted that needed to be, so that there would be a smooth transition with me leaving. At the same time the bigger I got the more tired I got and I was getting to work closer to 9am every day and was ready to go home at 5.30pm and walk ever so slowly to my car and then get home and lie down for the rest of the evening.
So where, during this time, do you find the time to go to ante natal classes and meet potential new mum friends? The point of this piece is to say find the time, it really will make all the difference in the long run.
via GIPHY
At first I perceived ante natal classes to be expensive and only important if you wanted to have a plan, I didn't want to have a birth plan as the universe usually has its own ideas and presumably my baby was going to come out the way it wanted to whether I liked it or not!
A lot of my friends already had children and so I also thought I had a group ready to slot in to once Rosie arrived, but I mentioned this to a good friend who said I should reconsider. My friend said that now her son was 2 she didn't remember any of those first few days in a way that would be helpful to me and that she was passed the sleepless nights when I might want to message at 2am. When you don't have a baby all of this is hard to comprehend but she was of course completely right.
Going to a class to make new mum friends when you don't have a baby is very strange, you are making small talk about your current life when really you need to skip to the next step when you suddenly have this huge thing in common -motherhood. It's a bit like starting a new school but meeting your classmates months before the first day of term.
Some classes are great for the body and some for the mind and will always carry different costs; and some will be just for you and some for you and your partner, don't be afraid to try a few before deciding which one you enjoy the most and 'click' with the people there.
I did join an NCT class and there was a little getting to know each other in those last few weeks but it was when the babies started to arrive and we were all awake 24/7 wondering what on earth we were supposed to do/were things normal that I could fully appreciate what my friend had told me. These new friends were right there with me on the front line of parenthood as it unfolded and we were all in it together, going through the same things at the same time and that proved invaluable.
In hindsight I have a much deeper appreciation for pre natal classes and so I asked a group of friends to let me know the ante natal groups they went to and whether they would recommend them in the hope it helps other new mums, you can find their thoughts below:
"I did both pregnancy yoga classes with Pure Yoga and NCT classes while I was pregnant with Griff and my experiences of each one couldn't have been more different. I think it's total pot luck when it comes to these classes and your experience depends on the others in the group and also the 'teacher' . I've made lifelong friends from both classes which is without doubt the most valuable thing to come from them. I hated my NCT classes. We went with the expectation that we were going to 'baby school' and would leave armed with knowledge of nappies, labour and dummies. How wrong I was. Instead, the whole focus was centred around talking about feelings (Jay particularly hated this part), the power of oxytocin and how having pain relief in labour was some sort of failure. Like I said, I think we were unlucky with the teacher we had." Caroline
Hypnobirthing was amazing. I was able to get myself into a state of deep relaxation really quickly using the audio tracks and positive affirmations from what I had read (Katharine Graves' book & CD) and my sessions with Jessica Driscoll in Cardiff. I had a clear idea of how I wanted the birth to go but also had a 'go with the flow' mentality too as a result of this preparation.
All I can say is, it worked! I didn't know I was in labour until I was fully dilated. I'd managed the 'twinges' I thought I was having using the techniques I'd learnt and aromatherapy (sniffing rose oil is great for pain relief!). The baby was back to back, which is meant to be even more painful, but I thought I just needed the toilet!
Anyway, my birth experience was really positive, relaxed and drug free. Right at the end, I needed some extra help as he was stuck, but I didn't freak out at the change of plan, I just made a calm decision to accept the help offered.
I think understanding the 'fear, tension, pain' cycle was the game changer for me. If you can stop your mind making you afraid, stop taking on board the scare stories and instead focus on the fact it's the most natural thing in the world which your body is made to do, you can achieve a deeply relaxed state and feel a lot less pain.
I think it definitely also has an impact on the baby, and everyone remarks on how chilled out my little boy is.
No one has ever told me this stuff didn't help them, so my advice would be give it a try!" Paula
So where, during this time, do you find the time to go to ante natal classes and meet potential new mum friends? The point of this piece is to say find the time, it really will make all the difference in the long run.
via GIPHY
At first I perceived ante natal classes to be expensive and only important if you wanted to have a plan, I didn't want to have a birth plan as the universe usually has its own ideas and presumably my baby was going to come out the way it wanted to whether I liked it or not!
A lot of my friends already had children and so I also thought I had a group ready to slot in to once Rosie arrived, but I mentioned this to a good friend who said I should reconsider. My friend said that now her son was 2 she didn't remember any of those first few days in a way that would be helpful to me and that she was passed the sleepless nights when I might want to message at 2am. When you don't have a baby all of this is hard to comprehend but she was of course completely right.
Going to a class to make new mum friends when you don't have a baby is very strange, you are making small talk about your current life when really you need to skip to the next step when you suddenly have this huge thing in common -motherhood. It's a bit like starting a new school but meeting your classmates months before the first day of term.
Some classes are great for the body and some for the mind and will always carry different costs; and some will be just for you and some for you and your partner, don't be afraid to try a few before deciding which one you enjoy the most and 'click' with the people there.
I did join an NCT class and there was a little getting to know each other in those last few weeks but it was when the babies started to arrive and we were all awake 24/7 wondering what on earth we were supposed to do/were things normal that I could fully appreciate what my friend had told me. These new friends were right there with me on the front line of parenthood as it unfolded and we were all in it together, going through the same things at the same time and that proved invaluable.
In hindsight I have a much deeper appreciation for pre natal classes and so I asked a group of friends to let me know the ante natal groups they went to and whether they would recommend them in the hope it helps other new mums, you can find their thoughts below:
"I did both pregnancy yoga classes with Pure Yoga and NCT classes while I was pregnant with Griff and my experiences of each one couldn't have been more different. I think it's total pot luck when it comes to these classes and your experience depends on the others in the group and also the 'teacher' . I've made lifelong friends from both classes which is without doubt the most valuable thing to come from them. I hated my NCT classes. We went with the expectation that we were going to 'baby school' and would leave armed with knowledge of nappies, labour and dummies. How wrong I was. Instead, the whole focus was centred around talking about feelings (Jay particularly hated this part), the power of oxytocin and how having pain relief in labour was some sort of failure. Like I said, I think we were unlucky with the teacher we had." Caroline
"NCT was invaluable for me in two ways - it taught me that I had choices when it came to the birth (though sadly stopping the whole thing when the pain was unbearable wasn't an option). And it connected me to a group of new mums (aka new couldn't-imagine-life-without-
The one thing NCT doesn't teach you - what to do with a tiny human being for the next 18 years of it's life. Argh!" Helen
"I didn't do NCT but did invest the time and money into things that I felt would relax me and give me coping methods for pregnancy and childbirth, so I booked onto pregnancy yoga, Daisy Birthing classes and one to one Hypnobirthing sessions.
I found the Daisy classes really lovely as they were educational and relaxing- I felt they helped to mentally prepare me and the stretching was good for me physically too. The teacher, Ellie, was so supportive and helpful, she made a massive impact on me. Being able to ask questions and share how I was feeling with the group, and hear how everyone else was doing, was really valuable.Anyway, my birth experience was really positive, relaxed and drug free. Right at the end, I needed some extra help as he was stuck, but I didn't freak out at the change of plan, I just made a calm decision to accept the help offered.
"Total life line best thing I ever did. So important now more than ever with lots of children's centres being closed down." Emma
Huge thanks to my friends for contributing their thoughts, I am obviously now an advocate for meeting new people whilst you're pregnant but as every pregnant woman is different and there are so many options on offer I thought in this case it was good to bring in some other perspectives.
As much as these classes might go some way to giving you an insight in to what labour will be like nothing can really prepare you for the moment you know it has started and the moment your baby arrives, but what will last a lifetime is the invaluable support of your new friends and any confidence you have brought with you from the classes.
via GIPHY
via GIPHY
If you are unsure which classes to try in your local area ask your midwife as they will likely know what other mums have tried and recommended!
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