Breastfeeding, when do you know it's time to stop?

I wanted to write another post on breastfeeding as it is such a huge part of motherhood for me and I had an overwhelming response to my last breastfeeding article, it clearly hit a nerve and resonated with some of you which is great, I had a lot of private messages as it is a very personal and sensitive subject and thank you to those who shared your stories and advice with me. It has taken me so long to write this new post as every time I have thought about what I would like to get down on paper my thoughts have become a bit of a jumble. 

Do I still like breastfeeding? How has it changed? The irony of getting used to it and then weaning, and when will I stop?

So I didn’t know where to start and didn’t want it to to be a train of consciousness of my sleep deprived mind! 

I found breastfeeding really hard at first, people asked me to explain why, was it a physical or emotional issue? and I found it really hard to articulate, it was both really. It can feel relentless and be unbelievably tiring, and is also mentally draining when it takes time for the two of you to get a good latch, get comfortable in public places and find your feet with any sort of regularity. I have no doubt that if my NCT group hadn’t all been exclusively breastfeeding those first few weeks I would have given up after the first month, but they were and were incredibly supportive, so I persevered and now 10 months later I am still going! 

We are now down to two feeds in 24 hours, one more if Rosie has a bad night and wants an extra feed, and we're up to three meals a day so Rose is getting everything she needs nutritionally from those meals, we were still at three feeds in 24 hours until Rose was 8.5-9 months old and have had two days in the last month where it went up again but this is significantly down on the eight or nine feeds a day we had up until five months. 

The biggest irony was that after sticking with breastfeeding for 5 months and FINALLY getting used to everything that comes with it, the tiredness, the bonding, the convenience, Rosie starting reducing her feeds herself once we started on actual food, and I’ll be honest I found it really emotional. I felt like she didn’t need me any more, which sounds irrational but that’s how I felt at the time!

Now Rose is 10 months and down to two feeds a day I am ready for this to be my last month of breastfeeding and to move to formula for the remaining two. I’ve said this a few times now and I’m still going so part of me is hoping that writing this down and putting it out there will give me the push!

I’m now really ready to reclaim my body and my wardrobe! I’m also going to back to work soon and would like to preserve as much as energy as possible and there is no doubt feeding another human is very tiring and it will be great for my husband to be able to take on some of the feeds. 

Breastfeeding has been completely different to what I expected, I’m not really sure what I expected to be honest but I think that I thought it was going to be more physical and functional, when in fact it is incredibly emotional (in a good way) and mentally challenging. 

I have no idea how I am going to feel once I stop completely and I do think there will be a few tears, even though I am so sure it is what I want. It is the end of one chapter and am sure within moments I will be distracted by the next one…I think we may have a crawler by next week! 

Before I go, please remember fed is best, happy mums and happy babies are the goal, not breastfeeding if it isn’t right for your family. Feed your baby whichever way is best for your situation and always trust your instincts, breastfeeding did work out for me but at no point did I feel any pressure to feed my baby in a particular way and I am immensely grateful to my family and friends for that. The lack of pressure gave me the freedom to be in control of what I was doing with my body and I have always taken it one day at a time.